“I’m here to pick up Ogawa,” I told the doorman at Tetsu’s apartment complex the following week. For the sheer reason of annoying me, You had suggested I pick Tetsu up from his apartment, drive him to the studio, and show him around as if he were some foreign exchange student from an unpronounceable country with no knowledge of the modern world whatsoever. So, I took it as my initiative to be as rude to Tetsu as possible. Not just because I didn’t want to drive him to the studio, but also because I didn’t want to have to work with him.
“I’m right here.” Tetsu stood from one of the velvet couches in the lobby. He gave a slight wave as his platform shoes clunked towards me, grinning all the way.
“I don’t know if you remember me…” I began, but felt foolish since everyone in Japan knew who I was.
“Of course, Gackt,” he chuckled, shaking my hand amicably. “It’s been a long time. I haven’t seen you since the ‘Moon Child’ premiere.”
“Yeah,” I said gruffly. “Let’s go.” I quickly walked out of the lobby to the sidewalk, heading in the direction of my car a few blocks away.
Tetsu followed, but his chunky shoes prevented him from keeping up. I didn’t glance back once for I knew he was behind me the whole way because his footwear was making a distinct sound as it hit the pavement. Often times I also heard his labored breathing as he tried to keep up with my power walking. Still, he kept a steady pace without complaint.
“Nice car,” Tetsu complimented when we reached it and got in. “A convertible, eh? What year is it?”
I turned to key, ignoring him.
“I was thinking of getting the same model,” he added. “How are the kilometers per liter?”
Again, I ignored him as I pulled out of the parking space.
“Maybe I shouldn’t get a car,” Tetsu sighed, starting to get the hint. “The train is so…”
Before he could finish, I slammed on the gas and we went flying down the street, weaving in and out of cars. Tetsu held onto the top of his head as if it was going to fly off from the force of the wind. I ignored his discomfort and continued to drive recklessly.
“Do you always drive like this?” Tetsu shouted above the roar of the wind and engine, though his tone was more conversational than sarcastic.
“Yes,” I answered flatly, not even giving him eye contact.

I treated him the same way I had before when I parked the car near the studio: I walked at a quick pace, avoided eye contact, and completely ignored any words he spoke. The man’s patience must have been infinite. Either that or he didn’t get the message yet.
Inside the studio, I lead him to one of the meeting rooms where the Job and I usually discussed future plans. I motioned for him to sit on a rickety stool in the corner while took my position in the large, cushioned swivel chair at the head of the conference table. Tetsu blinked in confusion for a few minutes before I made a hand motion indicating that I wanted him to speak.
“Oh, um,” Tetsu began with a little bit of apprehension. “Let me start off by saying how happy I am that you agreed to hear…”
“Save it,” I interrupted. “Get to the point.” I crossed my legs and spun the chair around so the back was facing Tetsu.
“Right, sorry,” he apologized. “I unfortunately didn’t give the studio a clear enough message about what I planned to do.”
“If it doesn’t include your usual shallow lyrics and elementary arrangements I’ll hear you out,” I stated flatly. In reality, I thought Tetsu’s entire solo career wasn’t that bad, maybe even a little cute. But if I knew anything about my fellow musicians, it was that they could not stand to have their solo careers criticized. It was one thing to insult the band, which an individual could just turn the blame to a different member. With affronts directed to a solo artist, there was no one else to take responsibility. The wound would lie deep within the ego. I knew this personally.
Tetsu, however, was different. He laughed. Not the kind of well-I’m-better-than-you laugh, or even a what-do-you-know laugh, but more like he was agreeing with me. I spun around in my chair to see his expression, and it was indeed one of agreement. He even nodded.
“Oh, no,” Tetsu affirmed. “I’m not going to write any music. And neither are you. I want to expand my business horizons by producing. I was hoping you could team up with me and help out.”
I glared. Produce? How could I produce other bands and solo artists when I was busy with my own? How could I possibly make time to… Wait, I did have time. A lot of free time. That was my whole dilemma. Perhaps this was the logical and wise career move I needed before I sank into celebrity obscurity. I grinned to myself.
Tetsu took my smile as a signal to continue. “Hyde and I have already found some possible bands.”
“Hyde?” I panicked. “From your old band?” As if there was any other. Right when I was about to agree to his proposal, he had to mention Hyde. How in the world could I work with him? Not only would it be awkward for the both of us, but keeping it a secret in front of Tetsu would be agonizing.
I was about to state some rude remark to make Tetsu relinquish his idea, but he interrupted. “Oh, he’s not a partner. He just wants to be a scout. You know, go undercover at the live houses and surprise up-and-coming bands.” He smiled slightly from amusement. “Can you imagine what it’s like for someone like Hyde to suddenly take an interest in you?”
“You have no idea,” I was about to say, but realized that would be too much. Instead I sighed and nodded. Alright, so I wouldn’t have to work with Hyde every day. But still, working with Hyde at all was not what I planned on doing for the rest of my life.
“If you become a partner,” Tetsu continued, “I believe your input will be invaluable. I’d greatly appreciate it.”
He made it sound like I was doing him a favor. I narrowed my eyes behind my sunglasses. This would never work. I turned my chair around again and asked, “What makes you think you can see talent?”
“I’m sorry?” Tetsu said as if he didn’t hear my correctly.
“You think you can discover new talent when you don’t have any of your own to begin with?” I asked harshly. It was a good thing I wasn’t facing him, otherwise I could never keep a straight face.
“Well,” Tetsu stuttered, “I’ve been in the business for over a decade and…”
“So what?” I continued. “Your music is basic, reminiscent of something I composed when I was ten.”
“I…”
“Your fans from years past stopped following you because they grew out of their diapers and discovered how belittling your music is.” I was malicious.
“I…”
“It’s no wonder L’Arc~en~Ciel broke up. Your own friends couldn’t stand the thought of being associated with such meek musical skill.” I began to shock even myself.
“I…”
“Not to mention your image. My ninety-year-old great-aunt has more contemporary fashion sense than you. A little lyposuction wouldn’t hurt either.” If that didn’t scare him off, nothing else would.
He was finally silenced. I waited a few moments before swiveling back around to face him. Upon his cheek, I could see a tear flowing down towards his chin. A man who cries normally turns me off, but something about Tetsu’s sensitivity made me feel like… well, a jerk. And I was a jerk. I didn’t mean a single word of what I said, but he of course didn’t know that.
Momentarily, he stood from his chair and left without saying a word. I quickly rose and attempted to chase him down in the studio, but either anger or adrenaline had made the platform shoes-wearing bassist leave the studio at top speed. I didn’t catch up to him until he was outside trying to catch the attention of a taxi.
“Wait!” I shouted, catching my breath. “Let me give you a ride.”
“I don’t think so,” he replied, hiding his face. I wondered if he was still crying.
“Please,” I begged, “I have to explain something to you.”
“More about my lack of talent? Or are you going to attack my weight issue again?” he asked with biting sarcasm.
I wanted to question, “What weight issue?” since he was skin and bones, but instead repeated, “Please?”
When he realized a taxi wasn’t too eager to stop for him, he nodded and followed me to my car. This time, I walked next to him while he stared at the sidewalk, arms folded over his chest. We didn’t say a word until we were in the car and the doors were closed.
“Tetsu,” I said, facing him. For the first time that day, I gave him direct eye contact. “I really like your proposal.”
“Gee, thanks,” he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes (though his eye roll was less effective than Hyde’s).
“I mean it,” I assured him. “It’s just that I…” I didn’t want to exactly come out and explain my aversion for working with Hyde without insulting him, considering how they were probably both good friends. Instead, I decided to tell Tetsu one more lie. “I’m kind of doing the same thing with someone else. I didn’t want you refuse your offer, so I thought it would be better if I let you decide not to work with me. I’m trying to cancel the whole thing with the other person, but you know how difficult contracts can be.”
Tetsu took the bait. “Really?” He grinned broadly. “I’m so relieved! I thought you really hated me.” Then he did something I hardly anticipated. He reached over and gave me a giant embrace. I let the fact that Tetsu was being so chummy with me sink in before I gave him a manly pat on the back. He subsequently released me.
“I’ll try to break it off, alright?” I stated, giving the most sincere smile I could muster. “Shall I drive you home now?”
He nodded.
Since I drove like a sane person this time, we actually had time to hold a decent conversation. First it was all small talk: weather, sports, cars, and the like. Then we got a bit deeper: where we thought the music industry was going, politics, and…
“So, do you have a girlfriend, Tetsu?” I asked almost teasingly.
“What? Uh, no,” he answered nervously. “I haven’t had much success with women, you know?” He blushed.
“That’s ok,” I replied, laughing. “Me neither. Women are too complicated.”
He sighed as if depressed. I glanced over to see him staring out the window looking forlorn. His elbow was propped up on the windowsill, chin resting in the palm of his hand. Shadows cast from the afternoon sunlight danced upon his pale cheek as the car moved. I inexplicably found myself reaching out and placing a hand there. He didn’t seem the least bit surprised. His head turned to face me and give a sweet smile before I quickly removed my hand and placed it back on the wheel, returning my gaze to the road.
“Do you have a girlfriend, Gackt?” Tetsu questioned. This lead me to believe that my touching his face had no embarrassing effect on him.
“No,” I answered playfully, smiling a bit.
“Boyfriend?” he asked.
I hesitated. His best friend was my fuck-buddy, but I wasn’t going to even begin to explain that. “No,” I finally said, then laughed.
“Oh, sorry,” he said. “I thought… Well, I guess I shouldn’t assume.”
“That’s ok,” I replied. “I haven’t had a boyfriend in months.”
“Oh!” he suddenly straightened himself in his seat. “So you are?” He refrained from saying the word as if it was taboo.
“Yes, I’m gay,” I chuckled. “What of it?”
“Well, I already knew,” Tetsu stated.
My fingers tightened on the wheel. Had Hyde told him about our meetings at Hotel Le Cherie at least twice a week?
“I mean,” Tetsu continued, “I’m aquatinted with Masa, and he always talks about you.”
I heaved a sigh of relief. Apparently Hyde was good at keeping his word. “And what does that little brat say about me?” I interrogated with a hint of amusement in my voice.
“I’ve been sworn to secrecy!” Tetsu informed me with a chuckle. “Seriously, nothing bad. He just said how he hated when you used to yell at him for leaving the toilet seat up.”
We both laughed (though I was a little ticked because that had been one of my biggest pet peeves with Masa) as the car pulled up to Tetsu’s apartment complex.
“Well,” I sighed, glad that I was in a good mood, “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Won’t you come in?” Tetsu offered with an inviting smile.
“Sure,” I replied without hesitation. Since the car ride was socially successful, who was to say we wouldn’t have as good a time having a few drinks in his apartment? Just as friends, sharing pleasant conversation, swapping music industry horror stories, and maybe even discussing our plans for our future production company.
Oh, how wrong was I.
The lobby of the building was exactly the same as when we left it: residents moved in and out of the revolving doors, the doorman watched absentmindedly, and velvet chairs sat waiting for prospective rears to occupy them. However, the air felt different, tenser, awkward. Everything was fine between Tetsu and I as we carried on a conversation about the history of his apartment building; it was something else. Call it hindsight, for I felt that something terrible was waiting for me just moments away in Tetsu’s apartment.
“Oh!” Tetsu exclaimed as he was about to stick his key in the door. “I almost forgot. I hope you don’t mind if a friend of mine hangs around a bit with us.”
“Not at all,” I answered politely with a slight frown.
Tetsu turned the key. “He usually pops in and out of my apartment, so don’t be surprised if he’s here.”
“Who is it?” I questioned, though the answer revealed itself as Tetsu opened the door.
I immediately spotted a figure sitting on a leather sofa in front of a television. His legs were crossed as he slouched lazily, gawking at the TV. Upon hearing us enter, he turned his head, ready to greet Tetsu, but at once narrowed his eyes when he spotted me.
“Hello, Gackt,” Hyde said flatly. “What are you doing here?”
I wasn’t quite sure how to answer. In fact, I couldn’t even remember how to speak. Suddenly, the nervous, insecure Gackt of one month ago returned and just stood before Hyde in part-shock, part-wonder. Since our first affair, Hyde and I hadn’t seen each other outside Hotel Le Cherie, and no one we knew had seen us together. With Tetsu there, a thick fog of tension formed, blurring my concentration, logic, and ability to respond. I just gaped.
“Hyde! Be nice!” Tetsu’s voice completely changed with this exclamation. While we were conversing before, Tetsu spoke like any normal person with a medium range voice. But his pitch raised about two octaves to sound much whinier. I grimaced when I realized this was the same voice Masa used whenever he complained about me.
“Tetchan, where were you?” Hyde interrogated, though he kept his glare on me.
“I told you,” Tetsu explained, using the same shrill voice, “I had a meeting with Gackt.”
“No.” Hyde stood a stormed over to Tetsu. “You said you were going to meet with a prospective partner in the production company.”
Tetsu nodded. “Well, here he is!”
They both turned their attention to me as if that had been an official announcement of my partnership. I got the impression that they were expecting a speech, but I refrained from the silly notion. Instead, I gave a meek grin and shrugged my shoulders.
“Uh huh,” Hyde replied, raising his chin in the attempt to look down on me, though that was physically impossible considering his height. “Tetchan, why don’t you run out and get us some cigarettes?”
I motioned towards my breast pocket and said, “Oh, no thanks, I have some right…”
Hyde’s nostrils flared as a signal for me to shut up. “No, you’re out, right?” he interrupted.
“Um, sure,” Tetsu replied with a confused expression. “What kind would…”
“Anything!” Hyde butted in again. “And take your time.”
Tetsu rushed out, explaining how he’d be right back. He gave one last glance of puzzlement before gently closing the door, leaving Hyde and I alone.
“Leave,” Hyde ordered, folding his arms over his chest.
“Excuse me?” I asked, baffled by Hyde’s rude demeanor. At the very most, he should feel as awkward as I was, not angry that I was in his presence.
“In a few minutes,” Hyde explained, returned to the leather sofa. “After Tetsu’s left the building.”
“And why should I leave?” I question, positioning myself so I was directly in Hyde’s view of the TV.
He glared up at me. “I don’t want you with Tetsu.”
“Right to the point, aren’t we,” I noted. “Why shouldn’t I be with him?”
“Just don’t be with him,” Hyde answered vaguely, focussing his attention on getting a better view of the TV.
“What do you mean ‘be with him?’” I asked. “We’re just working together, not dating. Although, Tetsu is quite charming…”
 As if someone had put a firecracker up his butt, Hyde sprang from the sofa and grabbed both my shoulders. “Don’t touch him!” he shouted.
I staggered back in surprise. “What would you care?” I asked as I removed myself from Hyde’s grasp.
He made no reply.
“It’s not like you’re in love with me!” I stated. “I thought our relationship was purely sexual and we agreed to see other people.”
He made no reply.
“If you want to play it that way, I might say you’re cheating on me with your wife,” I added.
Again, he made no reply.
“Then you think I’m not good enough for Tetsu. In the personal and professional sense. Is that it?” I tried, turning my back to him.
Finally, Hyde made a reply. “It’s not that.” He came up close behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my back. I felt the familiar chill I got whenever he touched me, though this time it hardly felt pleasant. “Do this for me, please?”
“Hyde,” I began to protest, but he planted a kiss on my neck. “Fine.”
He immediately stepped away from me and plopped back down on the couch. “I’ll see you later,” he said, motioning towards the door for me to leave.
I sighed almost inaudibly as I reluctantly exited the apartment, feeling sorry for the missed opportunity to work with Tetsu. But most importantly, I felt sorry for Hyde and I. I had to end it. If only I had mustered the courage to confront him right then and there. Unfortunately, I was weak to his persuasive demeanor. I might have understood why he wanted to interfere with my love life, considering our intimacy, but once he tampered with my career, it was no longer personal. This was business.

Chapter Five