666 | iriaca
Struggling at first as he tried to reach above. And
then he registered it, faintly though, he felt already too tired. You
could only die if you really wish to… and this was his will… gradually,
he stopped trying, letting everything else close in on him. He would
suffocate really… but he only felt too carefree… No more pain… Only the
soft clear blue, wrapped around him like a blanket of warmth…
Back in his house, the grandfather clock ticked,
7:06.
When he woke up he was already too cold…
He watched slowly as the fog cleared a little, breathing in the thick
night air. Quite resignedly he moved from his position, deciding there
and then to take a short walk to one of the pubs on the main street.
The noise there could make you forget just about anything. His feet
moved from his position, leaving pools of water where he once stood.
The soft squish of water rang clear to his ears; Hyde removed his hands
from his pockets and looked down at them, flinching slightly at the
familiar pain from the lines etched so neatly across his wrists, Hyde
chose to ignore them for today. His palms looked slightly different
from yesterday, they look tired… aged. Moisture covered the surface of
the white flesh, the same moisture dripping from his brows. Slowly, he
wiped at them with his sleeves, before pulling out a pair of leather
gloves from his damp coat pocket, putting them on his hands.
A blast of strong air came for him as he stepped out
from the tiny alleyway. Hyde shivered, feeling cold even though it was
barely winter. He walked until he came to the door of a small dark pub.
Before pulling the door open, Hyde remembered to dust his hair for
white snow that had cased on his pale hair from the moisture, dusting
them off his coat as well. A good warm place would do great.
A small bell rung as he entered, Hyde lowered his
head instantly, tucking his chin under the comfort of the scarf around
his neck. A taller, stronger body bumped into him, nearly knocking the
small-framed man off balance. Unfazed, Hyde looked up, glaring at the
man that bumped into him.
“Yo dude, watch where ya goin!” the tall gaijin man
yelled.
Hyde glared at him, forcing the sight of his gray
eyes straight into the man’s gaze. The man shuddered, Hyde saw his
expression change as he mumbled apologies and stumbled back. From the
corner of his eyes, Hyde saw another man approach. Defensively, he
turned and glared at him too, taking him by shock.
He was a tall, well-built man, with a head of
luscious brown hair and clear blue eyes. He regarded Hyde with careful
interest before he slapped a friendly hand on the shoulder of the
gaijin.
The gaijin leaned over and mumbled, “yo dude, this
guy is freaky.” He shook a little, scooting off.
The brunette man laughed as he turned to Hyde. “I
hope you don’t mind my friend.” He began, flashing Hyde a friendly
smile.
Hyde barely glanced and turned to walk away.
“Hey,” the man caught up with him again, standing in
front of him, in his way. He looked at Hyde from head to toe. The
petite man was dressed like it was winter, a thick scarf across his
neck, teamed with a black woolen coat and leather gloves, making his
ashen blonde hair stick out. The man was extremely fair, to the point
of being called pale. His large doe shaped gray eyes held him in a
hostile gaze. “I never seen you before, you’re not from around here.”
The man just stared, not saying anything, not moving
a muscle.
The taller man’s eyes grew wide in mixed shock and
interest, “Forgive me for being rude, my name is Gackt. And you are?”
The blonde stared at him for a while longer, before
lowering his head, “Hyde.” He said softly, turning away.
“Hey!” Gackt called, but the man just kept on
walking until he disappeared into the crowd. Gackt sighed, turning to
go back to his seat, when his eyes caught sight of the floor. Two small
puddles of water had formed where Hyde stood. Funny, Gackt thought, he
didn’t remember it to be raining outside.
“Hyde…” Gackt repeated softly to himself. In his mind’s eyes he could
still see those cold gray eyes and that sullen pale face. He didn’t
know why, but this to him, was endearing if he might. He felt the
corners of his lips lift into a small smile as he remembered how oddly
Hyde was dressed. He definitely wasn’t from here… perhaps somewhere
far… and cold, like England. Smiling, Gackt got up and decided to join
his friends at another table.
Hyde sat in silence, contemplating the series of
events that had just taken place. Gackt… he had spoken to a man by the
name of Gackt, and told him his name. Hyde frowned slightly, creases
forming at the top of that flawless face. Gackt was… charming. His blue
eyes shone like the clear waters of his hometown, and although he
didn’t show it, it captivated him almost immediately. But he couldn’t
help but feel a pang of regret. He should never have told him his name…
“Hey Hyde! Hyde!”
Hyde snapped out of his reverie. Why was there
someone calling his name? He was pretty sure he knew no one… he turned…
to see a brunette smiling, waving at him enthusiastically. Without
invitation, Gackt came and sat down beside him. “I thought you left!”
he exclaimed.
Hyde fidgeted a little, stuffing his hands further
into his pockets; he leaned against the backrest of the chair.
Gackt didn’t seem to mind his silence at all. “You
want a drink or something?” he said, referring to Hyde’s empty table.
“Beer? Whiskey?”
Hyde shook his head, “I don’t drink.”
Gackt nodded. He fell silent for a while.
Hyde noticed the silence from the man across him; he
looked up, only to find Gackt’s eyes fixated on him. Hyde frowned,
“Don’t look at me like that.”
Gackt bolted back a little, “I’m sorry, I didn’t
realize…”
“I don’t like it.”
“Sorry…” Gackt shifted his eyes, “It’s just that…
there’s just something about you that’s… You’re a very beautiful person
Hyde.” Hyde stayed silent and Gackt went on. “You’re not local are
you?”
Hyde shook his head.
“You don’t look local to me too… And you do realize
its spring don’t you?” he laughed, a strong beauteous laughter.
“Your friends are looking for you.” He started
“No way! They’re all the way there!” Gackt stood up
pointing, only to see his friends waving at him. “Man!” he looked at
Hyde, “you have some pretty good hearing! I’ll be right back! Don’t go
away!” Gackt pushed his way through the crowd as he jogged over to his
friends.
After settling his ride home, Gackt returned to the
table where Hyde sat. It was empty. He turned around quickly, looking
for signs of the young man. “Hyde?” he called, no one. It was obvious
that he had left. Gackt sighed, so much so for wanting to get his
number. He sank into the seat, his blue eyes flitting across the table.
Gackt sat up straight; there on the previously empty table was a neatly
folded cocktail napkin. He unfolded the napkin, there was a message
scrawled on the inside. “Gackt-san, meet me tomorrow at the hill at
666.”
Gackt grinned, “I knew you wouldn’t be able to
resist my charms.” He folded the napkin back and stuffed it into his
pocket, calling for his bill.
Gackt sighed, leaning against the large oak tree.
The light in the sky had given in to the cozy warm hues of purple and
orange as the sun began to set. He had ran out of ideas as to what 666
meant, he asked around, but nobody seemed to know. As a result, he had
waited here for hours.
A soft shuffling of feet to his right alerted him.
Gackt removed his shades, smiling at the approaching figure of Hyde. He
smiled satisfied at himself for being able to wait for Hyde to appear.
He pulled back his sleeve, the time on his silver wristwatch read 7:06.
“I waited the whole day!”
Hyde sat down; he seemed barely apologetic. He
leaned against the oak tree and closed his eyes. “I didn’t ask you here
for a special reason…” He heard Gackt sit down beside him. “I hope you
don’t mind.”
Gackt shook his head, gazing at Hyde’s face,
admiring his sharp delicate features. “I don’t mind.” He said, leaning
closer.
“I just thought… I wanted to see you…” Hyde said.
“Maybe… you could call this attraction?” Gackt
smiled.
Hyde nodded, attraction… was he? Maybe… he just felt
like he could see Gackt again… Just then, he felt a warm breath against
his cheek. Hyde opened his eyes, wide in shock at the close proximity
of Gackt’s face. “What are you going to do?”
“I was leaning and I want to kiss you.”
“No.” Hyde said flatly, turning his face away. It
had begun to darken, now overhead them was a sky of dark blues. The
blues of the waters back home… Suddenly, strong arms wrapped themselves
round his shoulders, forcing him down against the soft grass.
Hyde struggled, “No.” he rasped. He tried to push
Gackt off him in no avail. A set of forceful but lush lips settled
themselves on his. Hyde froze as the warmth seeped into his body. He
felt the sting of tears as he closed his eyes.
Gackt slowly pushed Hyde’s lips to part, sliding his
tongue into the smaller man’s mouth. Hyde was cold, as if seeking to be
warmed by Gackt. He roamed the insides of his mouth, letting his tongue
slide across every inch. There was a faint sweetness in Hyde’s mouth.
He felt the small body beneath him shiver slightly, Gackt opened his
eyes slightly, glancing at Hyde’s face before he continued, tucking his
tongue beneath Hyde’s, circling it in slow moves. And then he felt Hyde
shake, slightly at first and then more. Gackt stopped, Hyde’s eyes were
opened, he appeared to be in some sort of daze. “Hyde?”
Hyde didn’t answer him as tried to help himself up.
Gackt put a hand under his head and supporting his waist, helped him
sit up. Hyde’s hair and face was wet, damp with gathered moisture,
possibly sweat though his body was cold. “Are you okay?” he asked,
wiping Hyde’s face.
Hyde nodded, gently pushing Gackt’s hand away.
“You’re sweating.”
“I’m hot.” He said, bringing his legs to his chest.
“You’re kidding.” Gackt exclaimed. “You’re so cold!”
Hyde said nothing, he just smiled at Gackt. “Tell me
about yourself Gackt…”
Gackt smiled, happy that Hyde wanted to know more
about him. He began to present every single detail of his life as he
could remember.
“…I was a very depressed kid, I wanted to kill
myself.” Gackt said, unconscious that he was leaning his head on Hyde’s
lithe shoulders. He laughed, “Ne, you don’t believe me?”
Hyde took a deep breath, “Did you try?” Consciously,
he ran the gloved fingers of his right hand across the wrist of his
left, running them lightly across the wounds. He winced slightly; there
were both fresh and old wounds. He touched them only barely though, his
movement too small to be seen by the man beside him.
Gackt nodded, “Sleeping pills… but it didn’t work.”
Later, Gackt had gone and bought some food for
himself. Hyde didn’t want to eat, insisting that he wasn’t hungry. They
continued in their conversation, carrying on until late in the night.
“So Hyde… where are you from?”
A small pause, “Not here…” he whispered.
“England? I thought you look a little English.”
Gackt commented, turning to Hyde. “English eyes… English nose… English
lips…” he trailed off, leaning close.
“No, Gackt.” Hyde shifted.
“I think this attraction is growing…” Gackt said, “I
still want to kiss you.” He reached out to touch Hyde’s cheek.
Hyde flinched as the warmth of Gackt’s hand graced
his cheek. He watched calm, as Gackt pulled back suddenly, his blue
eyes wide. “You are cold aren’t you?” He cried, removing his jacket to
put it on Hyde.
“I don’t need it.”
“Yeah right, what are you? A ghost?”
Hyde smiled a little, the moonlight playing up his
gray eyes, casting small shines in them. “Maybe…”
Gackt laughed. “Kowaii nee…” he joked. He adjusted
his position and propped himself stomach down first on the grass field,
leaning his head casually on Hyde’s thighs. He stared up at Hyde, whose
eyes were fixed at the sky, slowly counting the stars. Gackt smiled as
he reached up to touch Hyde’s face. “Kirei.”
Hyde looked down and smiled. The warmth radiating
from that one single smile was enough to warm Gackt instantly. ‘He
looks beautiful like that…’ Gackt thought, his eyes gradually growing
tired. Soon, he drifted off to sleep.
“You only die when you really wish to…” Hyde
whispered, his fingers lingering across Gackt’s sleeping face.
Warm sunlight flittered through the trees, shinning
on the face of the sleeping man. He groaned and turned over on his
side, reaching to touch the other man beside him. “Mmm… Hyde…” he
whispered.
No answer, only the soft whishing of the wind and
the occasional melody of the birds. “Hyde?” Gackt rubbed the sleep out
of his eyes and sat up. He was alone on the hill; Hyde wasn’t there
anymore. Gackt sighed, running a hand through his brown hair. “Hyde…”
he whispered, supporting himself by his palms.
Gackt cursed, slamming the fridge door closed. He slumped to his knees,
sinking to the floor. Absently, he reached over to the table and groped
its lacquered surface for his cigarettes. He extracted one and lit it,
taking a long, painful drag from the small stick. He leaned his head
back, 4 days since he had last seen Hyde. He didn’t understand why had
had to just leave without telling him beforehand. He had gone back to
the pub every night in hopes of running into him there, but his
attempts were futile. No one had seen Hyde either… “Just where are
you…” he mumbled into his kitchen. “Do you realize I want to see you
badly?”
Gackt stood up, propping himself against a table, he
limply opened his cupboards, finding something to cook or eat. But they
were most empty. Time to buy some groceries. Maybe tonight he’d have
more luck in finding Hyde.
Grabbing his keys and wallet, Gackt opened his door,
his cigarette hanging loose by his lips as he turned to lock it.
Turning he made his way to the lift and stopped, his jaw dropped, the
cigarette falling onto the carpeted floor. A small figure standing at
the end of the corridor… pale blonde hair and an unnaturally pale face,
large gray eyes held his from the distance. “Hyde.” He mouthed. He ran
up to him, grabbing him by the shoulders, he pressed the small body
against his. “Where have you been? Where did you go since that night?
I’ve been looking all over for you!”
A tear fell from his eyes; he didn’t care to wipe
it. He let the tall man press himself against him, feeling the chin of
the other man gently touch his hair. He didn’t realize the
attraction was this deep… and this mutual, why did it have to be now?
Gackt let go of him, observing his face slowly, but
failing to see the streams of water on Hyde’s cheeks.
Hyde lowered his eyes, “I had to see you again, ” he
said.
Gackt broke into a smile. “I was just going to buy
groceries to make dinner. Want to come along?”
Hyde nodded, letting Gackt take his hand. He
followed the brunette quietly to the nearby super mart. Hyde ducked his
head low, uneasily staring at all people around him, ready to jump in
defense of himself and glare at anyone who offered him weird glares.
Gackt pushing a trolley, looked through the array of
products and asked, “Hyde what do you want to eat?”
Hyde shook his head, “I… I’m not hungry.”
Gackt teasingly pouted, “You have to sample my
cooking…” he said, going through some dairy products. “Eggs…” he
mumbled, carefully putting a box of eggs into his trolley. “Hyde, you
like roast chicken?”
Roast chicken was his favorite; just the thought of
its aromatic smell and Hyde could feel hunger building up in his
stomach. Still, he carefully said no. But when Gackt willfully insisted
on cooking roast chicken, it seemed like he would have no choice. After
mounting the trolley with groceries, Gackt dragged Hyde to the cashier
and proudly poured his products onto the counter, paid up and then they
were on their way home.
Hyde looked at the multiple bags of groceries in
Gackt’s hands and offered to help.
Gackt cast him a raised eyebrow. “No way I’m gonna
let you carry these.” He said, shifting the weight of the groceries
onto one hand while he dug into his pockets for the keys. He mumbled a
small curse before turning around to flash Hyde a smile. Again, Hyde
offered to help, but Gackt declined all the same. A few seconds of mild
hopping around and he pulled out his keys, giving Hyde a V-sign for
victory.
Hyde couldn’t help but smile. He had to admit, he
wasn’t a very happy person. But this guy was just… Hyde found it
impossible not to smile. He helped push the door open as Gackt stepped
in, placing the groceries carefully on the kitchen table.
“Now… wait outside while I cook nice dishes for the both of us.” He
said, pushing Hyde out.
“I’m not that hungry Gackt, so you don’t have to
cook a lot.” Hyde said, as Gackt sat him on the couch.
“My food will be so nice, you can’t help but eat.”
Gackt said, his arm across Hyde’s shoulders. “Just a small request
before I cook.”
“What?” Hyde said, turning to face him.
“I’d like to kiss you.”
Hyde turned away. “No, Gackt.” He said.
Gackt smiled and moved swiftly to the other side,
catching Hyde unaware with a peck on his left cheek. “Wait for me to be
done, you can watch TV or something.” Gackt said, pushing the remote to
Hyde as he walked into the kitchen, smug.
Hyde touched his cheek weakly, fingers going over
the same spot Gackt had kissed. He shut his eyes tight as pain clouded
his head. Why did it have to be like this? He removed his gloves from
his hands, watching water drip from his whitened palms.
When it came to dinnertime, Gackt kindly offered a
hefty portion of roast chicken to Hyde. “Eat a little.”
Hyde shook his head. “I’m not hungry.”
“Come on, I prepared this for you! Just a bite?”
Hyde shook his head.
“Have a drink? Wine? Beer? Water?” Hyde continued
rejecting his offer. “Hyde!” Gackt cried. “Have a small portion of
everything… please?”
Hyde looked into Gackt’s eyes. He hated to see those
blues pleading him. He looked away, softly managing a no.
“Hyde?” Gackt pleaded. “Just a little?”
After Gackt’s relentless pleading, Hyde found
himself actually nodding, finally agreeing to have a bite. “Not too
much.” He said as Gackt cut a piece of chicken for him.
“Wine?” Gackt asked.
“I-“ Hyde started, but Gackt had already poured the
red liquid into his glass. His hands shivered as he reached for his
fork and knife. He looked across the table; Gackt was watching him,
waiting in anticipation for a compliment on his culinary skills. Hyde
frowned and put a slice into his mouth. He felt nausea build up inside
him as he forced himself to swallow. Instinctively, he reached for his
glass, gulping down its contents, only to result in him feeling worse.
“How was it?” Gackt asked.
Hyde tried to smile as he nodded weakly, “Oiishi.”
He said.
“Really? Have more then!” Gackt said, as he lifted
another piece to Hyde’s lips.
“Gackt…” Hyde started, feeling lightheaded. He had
barely spoken before he was force-fed by Gackt. Hyde smiled as he
chewed and swallowed quickly.
“I’m so glad you like it, more?” Gackt asked. He
leaned across, pushing the entire plate to Hyde. “Hyde? Are you okay?
You look a little pale…”
Hyde covered his mouth, a hand on his stomach. He
shook his head, “Umm… okay…” he mumbled.
Gackt looked slightly relived but then he saw Hyde’s
eyes grow wide as he pushed himself away from the table, dashing for
the bathroom. “Hyde!” Gackt followed after him.
Hyde was bent over the sink, convulsing and throwing
up. He clutched his stomach, straining to bring up everything. Gackt
stood behind him, rubbing his back, watching concerned as Hyde threw up
more liquid that seemed to look like water. “Are you alright?” Gackt
asked.
Hyde barely nodded, he leaned his entire weight
against the man behind him.
“Ne, I’ll help you out.” Gackt said. Slipping an arm
over Hyde’s waist, he helped Hyde out and brought him to the bedroom.
“Rest here.” He said.
“Gackt…” Hyde started.
“Baka, you should have told me if you really
couldn’t eat.” He said, pulling the blanket over Hyde. Hyde took it to
his chest, as Gackt adjusted a pillow behind him. Gackt leaned close,
“Let me take off your gloves.”
“No!” Hyde snapped. And then he softened, “No.”
“No one sleeps with gloves on!” Gackt insisted,
tugging them off Hyde. He came in contact with Hyde’s wet skin, “Hey
are you really okay? You’re breaking out in cold sweat!”
Hyde stuffed his hands under the blanket. “I’m
fine.” He whispered.
“No you’re not…” Gackt reached under the blanket and
took Hyde’s hands into his, rubbing them to warm Hyde. And then
suddenly he stopped. “You cut yourself?” he asked shakily.
Hyde’s eyes went wide as he pulled his hands away
from Gackt, defensively shielding his wrists from the other man’s
eyes. He could feel the wounds throb with dull pain under the
surface of his coat.
“Why?” Gackt leaned close, a pained look on his
face. “Why do you hurt yourself?”
Hyde hung his head low. “Gackt… I come from a very
estranged family…” he started, “My parents… they love my brother a lot.
You see, he’s a scholar.” A wistful smile curved his lips. “I
don’t ask much Gackt, I cook for them, I clean for them, I do all the
housework, but yet I’m never allowed to sit at the same table with them
to eat even a meal. Ha-ha lets me eat the leftovers…” Hyde paused; he
could feel his throat closing in on him. “They’re very proud of aniki’s
results… so they always take him when they go on vacations. I try my
very best to study in school but… no matter how well I do… they never
take me.” He bit his trembling lip. “They hit me,” he whispered. “I
clean the house and when things go missing, or if there was something I
forgot… they’d hit me. Then I realized, that no matter how much I try…
they will never love me…” He trailed off, tears falling from his eyes.
His fingers shook with uncertainty as he gently touched those old
gashes.
All of a sudden, he felt long fingers encircle themselves round his
wrists, before Gackt bent to kiss them.
“Gackt…”
Gackt planted soft kisses all over Hyde’s cuts,
softly brushing his lips against the cool skin, lingering along the
smaller man’s thin wrist bone, trailing slowly up to his fingertips.
The small man shivered, tears forcing their way from his wide eyes.
Hyde bit his lip, tears running down his cheek. “Stop Gackt… please…
please stop…” his voice cracked, pain tugging at his heart.
“Gackt…” he sobbed, it was all becoming too much to bear.
“Shuush…” Gackt whispered, cradling Hyde’s head, he
stroked back the small man’s damp hair. “It’s okay ne?”
Hyde wanted to say something, but he was shut by
Gackt’s lips over his own. Once again, the cold of his own skin masked
by the sweet warmth that was Gackt. ‘Why wasn’t it like that last
time…’
Regret sang its ugly tune in his head, he shut his
eyes, blocking out his own scorn. If only he had waited longer…
“Then… they know about this?”
Hyde nodded, “they found out…I guess…” Hyde
whispered, he was in Gackt’s arms, his head leaning in the crook of
Gackt’s neck. He lifted his eyes to meet Gackt’s observing his face,
his well-defined jaw and those blue, blue eyes. A pained smile formed
on his lips. “I think they love me a little more now…they would give me
flowers…”
“You like flowers? I’d give you flowers too…” Gackt
said.
He shivered a little, Gackt immediately pulled him
close. He smiled, nodding. “Tulips.” He said. “Why…” he questioned,
feeling fresh tears well up in his eyes.
“Because…” Gackt paused for a while. “I know this
sounds silly… But I don’t have a liking for men… so I guess its just
you…” He tilted Hyde’s chin, looking into his gray eyes. “I’ve fallen
for you.”
Hyde shut his eyes, giving way to tears. His skin
was damp… Too late… “Maybe…” his voice choked within him. He blinked
back his tears, looking up at Gackt. “Maybe you will ne?”
Gackt shook his head. “I can and I will.”
“I’d only hurt you, you know?” he whispered, his
voice soft.
“Wrong Hyde.” He pressed his chin against Hyde’s
soft blonde hair, “you, won’t cry anymore. Because I won’t let anyone
hurt you,” he said decisively.
Tears fell freely from his eyes as he pressed them
shut; drop by drop they fell, disappearing into Gackt’s cotton shirt.
Hyde clung against Gackt, tightening his hands around the brunette’s.
Even though Gackt was extremely warm, his body could only feel cold.
Hyde began to shudder, heaving heavily. He could
feel the faint motion of water coming out from between his legs, from
the old wounds on his wrists, collecting on his face and forehead. He
thought briefly about that day… the waters rising high above his head,
the waters engulfing him. It hurt too much to even breathe… the waters
shut out the melodious singing of the birds on the treetops above him.
The waters numbed him… the clear blue waters of his hometown…
Gackt frowned; registering the drop in Hyde’s body
temperature. Concerned, he lifted a hand to Hyde’s forehead. He dabbed
Hyde’s forehead with the ends of his sleeve carefully, cradling Hyde by
the back of his head. Hyde’s face was a dull ashen color, and his
forehead was wet with sweat. He looked sick. “Are you okay?”
Hyde opened his eyes, smiling. “I’m okay…”
Gackt looked a little relieved, as he helped Hyde
lie on a pillow. “Get some sleep ne?” He pulled the blanket over Hyde’s
frail body, crawling in beside him. He planted a kiss on Hyde’s
forehead. “Goodnight.”
Hyde smiled, pushing away his thoughts to give into
an undesired slumber. He watched as Gackt fell asleep with a smile on
his face. Hyde smiled too; weakly he crawled over and rested his head
on Gackt’s chest, listening to the soft rise and fall. Water was
dripping from his brow, trickling slowly down his whitened pallor. “I
love you,” he whispered… “Even you’re too late…” he shuddered, cold.
“Too late…” He felt a strange tiredness take over him, causing his
eyelids to droop, heavy. This tiredness should have called him to sleep
a year ago… it didn’t have to wait until now… but yet it did. Hyde
knew, no one could control fate. “I shouldn’t have… ne?” he mumbled,
“If I had met you… just… earlier… we would be… I would be here with
you…” a sigh escaped his pale lips and then, his eyes lidded over. He
felt extremely light… a growing sensation of being afloat rose from the
pits of his stomach… seeming to carry him away…
Gackt snuggled against the pillow, smiling as he felt the morning sun
warm the side of his face. He pulled the blanket over himself,
remembering how last night, he had told Hyde his feelings. Today, he
thought sleepily, he would ask Hyde to be together with him. Gackt
reached across his bed, his hands groping the white bedspread until
they found something warm. Gackt’s eyes opened dreamily. “Hyde?” he
called, his hand where Hyde had been. He sat up straight; the bed was
empty safe for him. “Hyde?” he yelled louder. No answer… No Hyde. His
fists clenched tight, the moisture from the bedspread forming tiny
beads and bleeding out in the space in between his fingers. Gackt threw
the covers onto the floor. There where Hyde’s sleeping form should have
been was a huge patch of water.
His eyes wide in shock, Gackt brought his trembling
hand to view… He rubbed his fingers with his thumb… his skin savoring
the painful familiarity of that liquid. “Hyde…” his lips parting to
speak, but his voice barely came out.
Gackt heard a soft rustle across his floorboards, a
tiny whistle of paper scrapping across. In a daze, Gackt crawled over
to the ends of his bed, letting himself fall onto the floor. An old and
yellow newspaper page, Gackt reached and picked it up, bringing his
worn form to read it…
Tears of disbelief fell from his blue eyes… the same
blue eyes that Hyde loved.
His automated electric clock displayed its time and
date unashamed. 7:06am, June 6th.